Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize