I hate all girls vehemently.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
