Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
