I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
