It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
