If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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