Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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