the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
