it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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