i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
