Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦â€â™€ï¸
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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