yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize