I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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