I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
