Moan for me like Helen Keller
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize