Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
