bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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