You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
