the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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