North Korea, Best Korea!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
