he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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