I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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