So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize