We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
