She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
