3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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