it's like iHOP with fire
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
