Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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