I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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