I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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