Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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