I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My cat gives me a boner
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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