I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
