OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
