let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
