nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize