Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
how drunk are you?
Several
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
