i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
