but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
