Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He kissed a someone with a penis
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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