Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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