I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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