i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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