oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
