I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
