So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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