Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
