I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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