Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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