just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Randomize
