Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
50% drunk capacity currently
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
