do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You are the jesus of drinking
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
