he shaved USA in his pubs
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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