my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
