You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
