grandma shit on top of the toilet
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
