Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
