Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
