I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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