I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
is it fun? or sober?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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