I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
